Butt hurt.

The fact that butt hurt is a phrase I enjoy using will give you a feel for how immature I can be at times.

I’ve recently turned 30. And I’ll be honest with you, I feel no different. I am still a big kid with a face full of emotion. 

Something that happened recently was not being picked for something. I felt really left out. But I couldn’t understand why I felt so down about it. 

Ironically it was something to do with body positivity and it made me jolt into thinking I wasn’t the right kind of fat, pretty fat or whatever. I mean this is an irrational response based on my own wavering self esteem but it was such a strong reaction I was annoyed with myself.

Part of me thinks it’s okay to feel left out because we’re social creatures and we want to be accepted for who we are. The other part of me is annoyed with myself for automatically thinking the worst and feeling that horrible feeling with all my emotion. I felt the anxiety rise in me and I couldn’t push it back down. 

This is not a thoughtful post. It’s just me saying to myself, everyone throws a wobbly sometimes.

And yes. It does count if only the cat saw it happen. 

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